It was quite a journey.. my first trip from delhi to Loharu in the train.. from the Sarai Rohilla Station!! I was sandwiched between by mom and dad..my dad making conversations with other dads..the topic being bits pilani and what an esteemed institution!!!
my mom is anxiously checking out the scenary and she would burst into tears any moment now..the scenary has nothing to offer except sand-scapes!!
and am wondering abt the new life …new journey am goin to embark upon!!!
We landed,did the registration and sat through the orientation..i was all smiles. This is exactly the kind of place i had imagined it to be.. not to mentioned the ‘Jaundiced’ look the buildings had.. but over the years we were actually proud of it!!!
then my parents left.. i still remember when they took the rick to the bus station with all the suitcases ..my eyes were clouded with tears!!i couldn’t bear to see them go.. i jus wanted to protest that we have parents with us too.. i cudn’t look straight into my mom’s eyes..she was like a part of her had been torn away from her and made to stay!! my heart was so heavy and i couldn’t see them go.
my dad was the only brave person..asking me to take care and read well and mingle and make friends!!
finally my mom spoke ..she asked me to eat well and sleep well.. and write letters regularly!!when she completed the sentence we both broke down and cried for a long time.the rick-wallah was extremely patient and dint utter a single word..well we are not the first of the lot!!
then i came back to my room and cried and cried till my eyes were bloodshot and there were no more tears left!! we all went for dinner together and all of us were gloomy.we had something in common – we were lonely and vulnerable!!!
we slowly befriended each other, some of us became the best of pals,we had fights,played holi,danced away to glory, dressed for music night and did everything under the sun..having tee-shirts with each of our zodiac signs!!
we were family!! and then everytime we went home and came back we dint feel the pain, the weekly telephone calls from home continued..and we would fight for the phone but we dint feel lonely again. we terribly missed home but we were not vulnerable!!we had each other..whenever i felt down and sad i would jus run into one of their rooms and there would be a bunch of hands consoling me!!!
after years am back again, from home , have been there for jus two days..but i feel the pain of loneliness!!! i cant bear it.. sometimes i wish i had the same bunch of friends and we all lived together and am sure would have had a blast!!!
sometimes i miss them..when there’s a good movie to watch..when there’s a movie like shabd where u can do nothing but comment.. when i want to go bowling, when i listen to pani vizhum malarvanam..sunday mornin breakfast,plays ,simply sitting in the lawns, when i have hot tea, when i read a good book or a ‘taboo’ one,when i jus want to enjoy the silence even if we are seven in a room, when i need to tell somebody how rotten office was.. when i jus have to sit and chat.. i miss them!!!
now i realise what is missing in my life!! that essence of friendship we shared.. i dont think i can be friends again with people the way we are.. but i also dont want to!!! i know we wont meet very often..once a year would be a wonder.. but i would still hold them close to my heart!!!
we were different in all senses of the word but we dint care, we lived life to the full and realised we shared something special and which we would hold close to our hearts!!!
i miss u guys… i really do!!!