Sometimes when am all by myself with no sense of time and space(these moments i truly cherish), i wonder who am i? There is always this sense of identity we want to associate ourselves with. It has nothing to do with being successfull or not, it has something to be able to define yourself with.
Its very abstract, all of us want to be happy(in our own terms).We want to be able to make that connection with ourselves where we can sit in a comfortable silence and not feel lonely. We want ourselves to be able to feel the pride and a happiness that comes from within.
Some childhood memories, some mistakes ride past me when i sit and gaze at those solitude moments. I never knew there would come a day when i would look forward to reading Bharathiyar kavithaigal and be able to say it.
There is a sense of difference in the Generation i see today. We are not scared of what we are. We take full responsiblity of the actions and the repurcussions.We have a certain sense of self-worth. We are not confused but struggling to prove a point.
In one of the coffee conversations with my bestest friends, i reasoned that the cause of constant turmoil for the generation of today is the fact that we do not see eye to eye with our family. Yes, we dont.We have laid our own principles for our lives and it is (alarmingly)different from those of our elders.
We are able to decide between the good and the bad and the right and the wrong.
We are more tolerable and more reasonable. Infact, i have been living with my room mate for two years(harmoniously) which has made me more adapatable and accomodative.
It is very difficult for my parents to understand my goals and sacrifices and it is very strange for me to make them see it.
This is the sense of conflict and somewhere in this whole battle one of us lose.Not always but sometimes. Somehow for me it is difficult to live a life without passion. I have made many mistakes and sacrifices not because life became that much easier but because that was the right thing to do(for me).
I dont see my buddies everyday, infact we are all geographically very far apart, but i know that somewhere within me a piece of them lie and vice versa. We are willing to learn, from our mistakes and from others. I’m beginning to think that we would bring a new dimension to this world. A world where people can live by their own rules. Most of my idealogies about religion and caste shock my parents, but that doesnt change mine.
It always comes as a choice between making your dreams come true by holding faith in what you beleive or savrificing your dreams for a sense of temporary relief.